Don’t Become an Accidental Dad!

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It happens every day! Men becoming dads, not by choice, but by accident.

And not with women they would choose to be their wife, but with women who will cause them 18 years of strife! Brethren, did you have the talk? I’m talking about the talk every father must have with his son. The one every grandfather must have with his grandson and the one every uncle must have with his nephew. I’m talking about the man-to-man talk about women, sex and making babies! The one where a young man is admonished to man up and don’t become an accidental dad!

What is an Accidental Dad?
An accident is an unexpected, unplanned or undesirable event that usually happens suddenly and produces unfortunate, unwanted or unpleasant results. Accidents normally happen through carelessness, unawareness, ignorance, or a combination of the above. One of the worse things that can happen to a man, young or old, is becoming a dad by accident. In other words, becoming a dad through carelessness, unawareness, ignorance or sin.

Did you notice that accidents are always unplanned, undesirable and unpleasant? I’ve been training men for over a decade and I’ve seen countless men in my workshops and conferences who became accidental dads. Truth be told, this is a detestable experience for most men! This is just (one of) the primary reasons why an alarming number of biological fathers eventually abandon both mother and child and why homicide is the leading cause of death amongst pregnant women.

Men, listen up! Becoming an accidental dad is almost always an unpleasant, weary and irritable event! Follow me closely as I walk you through this harrowing experience…

Many try to hide their displeasure from the expectant mother, but the gut wrenching tension between the two is irrefutable and becomes apparent almost instantaneously at the revelation of her pregnancy.

She’s thinking he’s going to step up to the plate, be a man and take care of his child. She may even have grandeur ideas of matrimony. Or maybe lesser plans of possibly living together and getting married down the road. He on the other hand is thinking things such as:

(a) Hmmm, I wonder if this is really my kid?
(b) Is she trying to trap me or what?
(c) This shouldn’t have happened, we used CONDOMS for Pete’s sake!
(d) I’m just not ready for a child
(e) I hope she doesn’t think I’m going to marry her!
(f) God, what have I done? I surely don’t love her!
(g) She’s nothing to me! She just a booty call!
(h) That bleep bleep told me she couldn’t get pregnant
(i) That bleep bleep swore she was on birth control
(j) That bleep bleep claimed she didn’t want to get pregnant
(k) That bleep bleep told me that she had a hysterectomy
(l) If she doesn’t have an abortion, I’m gonna go off!
(m) I’ve got to figure out how to get out of this mess!
(n) I’ll kill her before she gives birth to a baby with my DNA

Sex Traps 101
There are many dangers men face, but one of the most prominent dangers is one of the least talked about amongst men.

It’s called: SEX TRAPS!

When men engage in indiscriminate or casual sex or when they cohabit or choose the wrong woman to be their wife: they subject themselves to an onslaught of dangerous and sometimes deadly sex traps. For the sake of time, we’re going to focus our attention only on the sex traps related to becoming an accidental dad. Learn them well!

((((( Sex Trap Alert )))))
The Wedding Trap
Surely you’ve heard about men and women getting married solely because she is expecting. The plot works like this. A female gets pregnant, (usually intentionally) and then using either tears, duress or feminine wiles, snares the baby’s daddy into saying, “I do!” These women mar the entire female gender with their cunning scheme. Which is having a wedding ceremony and becoming a bride by entrapment!

They masterfully manipulate a man’s sense of decency, his instinctive desire to protect, his desire to be revered as a man, his moral compass, his inclination to take care of his responsibilities and his lack of knowledge about cunning females. With most men, the guilt trip works like a charm. But the decision to grudgingly marry under such coercive conditions is one all most all men deeply regret.

((((( Sex Trap Alert )))))
The Child Support Trap
The average man doesn’t understand the harsh reality of being snared in the (CSEA) Child Support Enforcement Agency. Read some of the atrocities they are forced to endure everyday.

(a) Their child support can be more than 40% of their take home pay!
(b) The subversive threat of either paying child support or going to jail
(c) While incarcerated they usually lose everything, job, car, house, etc.
(d) If they miss a payment, they are subject to losing their driver’s license
(e) The late payment fees are an excruciating 12% compounding…
(f) They are classified as a dead-beat dads no matter what they do
(g) They face intense stress and ill feelings between them and the baby’s mom
(h) One call from the baby’s mom can land them in jail with felon criminals
(i) They must face the fact that there is no ceiling on child support
(j) They are subject to increased child support payments every two years
(k) It is virtually impossible to get their child support payments reduced
(l) A felony warrant issued for their arrest for past due child support payments

C’mon, let’s be honest, what sane men would sign up for this baby’s mama drama package if they understood what they were getting into?

She’s Got Papers On You!
There are multiple critical points men don’t understand about what happens once a woman files a paternity suit against them. They don’t realize they have just been SUED. They don’t comprehend that the mother has become their adversary in fierce a lawsuit and that they are guilty until and unless they prove their innocence.

They don’t understand that from henceforth they will be viewed and treated as a CRIMINAL with a Child Support Enforcement Agent acting as their parole officer. They don’t apprehend that not only are they subject to having their driver’s license suspended, but the (CSEA) will suspend any and all of their professional licenses, ruin their credit, intercept unemployment checks and use any means necessary to destroy them financially if they pay late or fail or refuse to pay!

They don’t understand that once a child support order is issued against them, the baby’s mother has legal papers that empowers her to impede or altogether destroy their lives. They don’t grasp the fact that once a female has papers on them, she can unjustly have a man incarcerated if she turns into an angry, bitter or jealous female. This happens daily!

They don’t discern that these females now forcefully control how much money they will be able to retain the next 18 to 21 years. It means that in most states, they are now subject to an unjust term called: judicial discretion. This allows a judge to set child support payments, not based on a man’s actual income, but what a judge injudiciously claims he is capable of earning. Hence the term: judicial discretion.

The men don’t fathom that the states have federal incentives to set exorbitantly high child support payments. The higher the payments, the more money the states collect from the federal level! Unfair child support payments are a financial windfall to states coffers. I received this e-mail from a man who learned this evil truth the hard way.

“I just received my child support order... Justice WAS NOT served. I have to pay child support based on a salary almost two times what I make based on NO evidence other than the baby's mother claim that I was able to afford it. Please help…”

Men suffer this same injustice in the family court everyday! Jesus spoke about these unjust judges in Luke 18:2-6. The men are ordered to pay outrageous sums of money they can never afford and when they don’t pay, they are classified as deadbeat dads and hounded as if they raped, robbed or murdered someone. You read it right!

Again I ask, “What sane men would sign up for this catastrophic deal if they knew what they were in for? This is why every dad, grandfather, uncle, mentor and pastor MUST have this talk with ALL YOUNG MEN until they get this chilling truth drilled into their heads!

((((( Sex Trap Alert )))))
Paternity Fraud Predators
I coined the phrase, “Paternity Fraud Predators” after talking with Carnell Smith, the founder and CEO of US Citizens Against Paternity Fraud, and learning about the alarming number of females who commit a crime called paternity fraud. This is when they inform a man that he is the father of their child when he is not. The next and most important step is getting a child support order against the defrauded man.

In Mr. Smith’s case, he lost a staggering $150,000 to a woman who claimed he was her baby’s daddy. After family friends urged him to take a DNA Paternity test, he was shocked to find out that he was not the father of the child. It was a secret the mother hid from him for eleven years while she pocketed his hard earned money. In court it took her less than 30 seconds to name the true biological father of her child.

The numbers are alarming! Although most women will usually swear, “He’s my baby’s daddy!” The irrefutable fact is; one out of every three men who take a DNA paternity test, turn out not to be the biological father of the child! Did you read that? 1 out of 3! These scandalous females are defrauding untold numbers of men every year!

((((( Sex Trap Alert )))))
Females Shopping For Disposable Dads
They used to be called gold–diggers, but gold diggers is not a befitting term simply because these females are not just ripping men off financially. They are jeopardizing men’s lives and freedom. They also impact a 3 rd party - an innocent child. The scheme is simple. Find a target with steady income, seduce him, get pregnant, get a child support order against him and then order him to BE GONE!

The primary targets of these shameless she-devils are military men, professional athletes and other financially stable men. I coined the phrase “Females Shopping For Disposable Dads” because once these females start collecting child support payments, they dispose of the baby’s daddy. And, “No!” He doesn’t get to see the child. They only interact with him if he is late with or misses a payment. Or, until it is time for them to petition the court for an increase in child support.

I’ve watched these trifling hellions snag up to fifty percent of a man’s take home pay and then laugh the men to scorn. Even worse, a number of these females don’t even care about the child. For them, it’s all about the Benjamin$! They use childbirth to get paid! I know women who collect upwards of a $100,000 a year in child support from different men. Brethren, heed this warning, these hussies are ruthless!

((((( Sex Trap Alert )))))
Can You Say, “Trojan Man!”
I know what some men are thinking because I hear it constantly: “Gillis, I practice safe sex!” Men listen up! Using a condom MAY prevent pregnancy. The operative word is “May!” That’s just like a man telling a woman, “I MAY marry you!” Or a child telling his parent, “I MAY go to school today!” The word “MAY” means: the likelihood or possibility of.

No this for a certainty, there are countless men who are trapped in the child support enforcement system and THEY WERE WEARING A CONDOM! These men come to my workshops constantly. If you are depending on a condom to protect you from becoming an accidental dad, all I can say is, “You are one cocksure man!” I took this warning off of the back of a Trojan condom box. Read it carefully:

Trojan ® Brand latex Condoms, when used properly, are highly effective against pregnancy – although NO CONTRACEPTIVE CAN GUARANTEE 100% effectiveness.

Let me translate it for you. If you use this condom, there is a possibility and likelihood that it MAY protect you from becoming an accidental dad. However, they cannot guarantee you won’t get her pregnant! In the event the condom fails, no condom manufacturer is going to give you any legal assistance with your paternity suit. Nor, are they going to make your child support payments.

I Spotted a Young Man Without Any Sense…
Read this account of how many men make the perilous journey of becoming accidental dads.

Proverbs 7:6-18 The Message [Emphasis added]
6 As I stood at the window of my house looking out through the shutters,
7 Watching the mindless crowd stroll by, I spotted a young man without any sense
8 Arriving at the corner of the street where she lived, then turning up the path to her house.
9 It was dusk, the evening coming on, the darkness thickening into night.
10 Just then, a woman met him--she'd been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him.
11 Brazen and brash she was, restless and roaming, never at home,
12 Walking the streets, loitering in the mall, hanging out at every corner in town.
13 She threw her arms around him and kissed him, boldly took his arm and said,
14 "I've got all the makings for a feast--today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid, -- She was playing church!
15 So now I've come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face--and here you are!
16 I've spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens.
17 My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances.
18 Come, let's make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking!

Did you read the intelligence report on these impudent females? They lie in wait, they dress to seduce men and they throw themselves on men making it almost impossible for a man to resist having sex with them. So how does a man avoid their well-laid booby traps?

Read verse 7, again! He has to become a man who possesses some common sense! I’ve given you enough crucial information to help you be that type of man. You now understand what’s at jeopardy. Read what other wise men say about these venomous skirts.

Proverbs 5:3-4 Amplified Bible [Emphasis added]
3 For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil;
4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword.

Proverbs 6:24-28 Amplified Bible [Emphasis added]
24 To keep you from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a loose woman.
25 Lust not after her beauty in your heart, neither let her capture you with her eyelids.
26 For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man].

Men, I leave you with this charge, “Young or old, don’t be a man who does not posses common sense. Be a man of wisdom, righteousness and holiness. Be a man who is the master of his sex drive!” If you allow your sex drive to rule you, it may be pleasurable for a season, but make no mistake about it, you are most likely headed down a perilous path of pain and regret! How do men end up becoming accidental dads? By carelessness, unawareness, ignorance and by living in SIN!

When you become a dad, you want to do so with a virtuous, trustworthy and loving WIFE! Not with a casual sex partner, one-night stand, booty call, stripper, party girl, super freak, gold-digger or some other wanton female who is going to turn this normally joyous occasion into a perpetual nightmare! Here’s my final charge, read it carefully!

Proverbs 7:24-25 The Message [Emphasis added]
24 So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously. 25 Don't fool around with a woman like that; don't even stroll through her neighborhood.

Be a man and MAN UP! Avoid the sex traps! Be the master of you sex drive. Learn to choose your mate wisely! Don’t become an accidental dad!

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