Avoiding Valentine's Day Disasters
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and things are heating up! Let me start by saying that V-Day doesn’t mean the same thing to men as it does to women. Ladies, take notes and don’t ever forget what you are about to read. No matter what the advertisers and relationship experts attempt to convince you of, the majority of men don’t view Valentine’s Day the same way women do. This may be hard to swallow, but for your long-term sanity’s sake, it would be wise that you did.
Will You Be My Valentine?
For most men, V-Day is like a woman’s biological clock. It’s something men don’t cherish hearing about. However, because this day has been hyped up by the media, jewelers, florists, card and candy retailers, most men bunker down and do their best to grin and bear it. The reality is most men shun the thought of V-Day. It’s not because men don’t care. They just don’t like the idea of being pimped or manipulated by the likes of Zales, Hallmark, Jared and Kay Jewelers. More on that in a minute.
On the other hand, most of the fairer sex excitedly looks forward to V-Day. It has been engrained in them by the powers that be since they were small. For many women, it’s a day of high expectation. They usually have grandeur visions of wearing sexy lingerie, receiving flowers, gifts, or candy and otherwise having the most romantic day of their lives. However, many are sorely disappointed. Bah-humbug? Hardly! In reality, Valentine’s Day sets up many women for great disappointment. Why? Because they didn’t understand the ten truths to avoiding Valentine’s Day disasters. Here they are, learn them well!
If You Are Not In a Relationship, Just Relax!
It should come as no surprise than many individuals (namely women) spiral into a deep state of depression if they find themselves uncoupled during the most romantic day of the year. Lets’ be clear on this next point. Businesses make a lot of money leading up to February 14th. Retailers hire the sharpest minds in marketing and spend the big bucks to figure out how to get everyone to buy into the V-Day frenzy. Certain retailers rake in the lion’s share of their income on V-Day.
Consequently, they have a vested interest in making you feel totally awkward if you are not participating in any V-Day festivities. Make no mistake about; the majority of their advertisements and commercials are geared to do two things: (a) foster greed in women. They want every woman to feel legally entitled to receive a V-Day gift. Certain relationship experts have chimed in, urging women to throw subtle hints, use their feminine wiles and employ other cunning tricks to acquire gifts. And, (b) incite guilt in men. They want men to squirm and feel like schmucks if they don’t give it up. That’s why men, for the most part, have little or no appreciation for February 14 th. Men don’t respond very well to pressure and what they perceive as forced romance.
Have you noticed how they raise the ante every year? On the weeks and days leading up to V-Day, they bombard us with a plethora of manipulative and slick advertisements. After Christmas and Halloween, Valentine’s Day has become the most marketed day known in U.S. history, probably in the world. There’s no way to escape that fact. If you’re not in a relationship, just relax! Don’t get caught up in the V-Day frenzy! Don’t be tricked or manipulated into feeling awkward about being non-coupled or suddenly single. I assure you, your life is not going to unravel on February 14 th.
Life Goes On After February 14th!
News Flash: at approximately 12:00am on February the 15th a new day will have dawned and the V-Day hype will be over! For the individuals who don’t respect this truth, February the 14th could go down in the annals of their hearts as an unforgettable painful disaster. It will haunt some men and women the rest of the year and others, the rest of their lives. You can avoid that psychological trauma by constantly reminding yourself: Life goes on after February 14th…
Remember that truth and embrace it! Tell your suitors, fiance, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend and all who will listen. If things don’t go as planned, life goes on after February 14 th!
February 14 th Is Not The Most Romantic Day of The Year!
Somewhere along the line advertising executives overwhelmingly succeeded at convincing the masses that Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year. Lies, lies, lies! The most romantic day of the year is the day that you make it to be! You can put together a memorable day of romance any day of the week, month or year!
Are you feeling me? Try this on for size…
On the menu: baked Alaska n salmon, steamed asparagus and Canadian brown rice. The table setting: dimly lit candles, a single aromatic red rose and a specially selected cuisine of poetry written by, “yours truly,” the Romantic Poet. Crooning in the background: the silky smooth voices of Barry White, Smokey Robinson, Sade and “yes,” the sultry songstress, Anita Baker. Are you feeling me now? You can do that on February 1st, 14th, on August the 9th and on any other day. Either day and either way, it’s going to be romantic! Don’t believe the myth or the hype! It is true, February 14th can be great, but it is not the most romantic day of the year.
If You're Not That Close... Don't Panic!
For people who just met or just starting talking, Valentine’s Day can be an uncomfortably awkward day. You’re just getting to know this person and you don’t want to seem like a prude by not getting them anything. On the other hand, you don’t want to give them a gift or card and send the wrong message. It’s like being in between a rock and a hard place. So what should you do? Take the mature path.
Let the person know how you feel. If they get upset, bail on you, curse you out, display selfish disappointment, belittle you or insist on imposing unrealistic demands, you just learned a valuable lesson. He or she is not the one! Bid them adieu and move on! Whatever you do, don’t panic and do or say something you’ll later regret.
Material Gifts Never Determine The Depth of a Person’s Love
I recently viewed a jewelry commercial in which the actor was flashing a stunning diamond he claimed to have purchased for his wife. Which wasn’t true at all. He made that claim because he was a paid actor! He insinuated if a man didn’t buy his girl a diamond from this company, it wasn’t a worthy gift! These corporations invent powerful manipulative clichés such as, “Give the gift that counts.” In other words, if you don’t give their product, your gift doesn’t count? Puhleeeezzz… And the infamous lie of all time, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!” Say what?
Never listen to a corporation or advertiser’s definition of what a gift represents. Especially on the weeks and days leading up to V-Day. The depth of a person’s love is determined by what’s in their heart, not in their gift. If my gift doesn’t measure up, are you going to dump me? Or worse, divorce me? People who measure love based on the type and size of gift they receive are called moneygrubbers and gold-diggers!
Valentine’s Day Does Not Make Or Break a Relationship
As Director of the Naked Truth Seminars, I frequently meet people who literally believe Valentine’s Day is going to make or break their relationship or marriage. I listened to one distraught woman run off the list of things her fiancé didn’t do the past three V-Days. She recalled her V-Day disappointments as if they happened ten minutes ago. She never received what she expected and according to her, her boyfriend turned fiancé ruined the most important days of her life! You would’ve thought the man committed adultery!
Like others, she had taken the V-Day hype to the extreme. If you are using Valentine’s Day to gauge if you are going to stay in a relationship or marriage, STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Valentine’s Day does not make or break a relationship. There are 365 days in a year. If you have good or great relations with your mate the other 364 days, be thankful. If your relationship is a literal drought 364 days a year - rejuvenated only by one day of forced romance, you may need to evaluate what you have. And for the love of God, don’t wait until February 14 th rolls around!
Valentine’s Day Does Not Define You!
We live in a society in which women define how they should look based on standards set by plastic supermodels and made up movie stars. Some females willingly subject themselves to unnecessary potentially harmful plastic surgeries. All for the sake of looking perfect according to Hollywood’s fleeting definitions.
By the same token, various women have come to believe that V-Day defines their womanhood. On February 14 th, they believe they MUST do something: spectacular or otherwise! If not, they see themselves as less than a woman. Read some of the disturbingly alarming things they put themselves through due to the pressure of Valentine’s Day.
They’ll have a one-night stand to avoid being distressingly single
They spend the entire day home alone, sulking and crying
They put on a facade and become overtly flirtatious
They date a man they neither like nor care about
They gorge themselves into a disgusting bloat
They have pity sex with a man
Make a note of this; Valentine’s Day DOES NOT define you as a woman! It never has and it never will. It is your inner beauty that defines you. Rejoice in that and don’t allow 1 day in February to define who you are.
Succumbing To V-Day Pressure Will Come Back To Haunt You
On January 6, 2005, the New York Daily News announced that an author put together a publicity stunt to get unwed mothers who were cohabiting with their lovers to get married on V-Day. The event is called: “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day.” The bait is – all expenses for the wedding will be paid. The author has promised to provide the couples with a dream ceremony complete with wedding planners, dress designers, caterers and a honeymoon. These are the kinds of harmful stunts people and companies conjure up for Valentine’s Day.
Rest assured, the closer we get to V-Day the worse it gets! It happens every year. People get caught up in the excitement of the V-Day hype. They grudgingly marry and reluctantly have sex with someone all for the sake of doing it on Valentine’s Day! Keep your sanity and peace of mind intact. Don’t succumb to V-Day pressure. That includes saying, “I love you!” If you don’t genuinely love a person, then don’t say it. Your words or deeds may come back to haunt you.
When The Relationship Is Over: Exit Immediately!
Gladys Knight and the Pips sang a popular song entitled, "Neither One Of Us.” The hook in the song is, “Neither One Of Us (Wants To Be The First To Say Goodbye). There are some dating relationships that are so over. Unfortunately, neither he nor her wants to say good-bye. By the time they approach Valentine’s Day the guilt of knowing they should have parted ways becomes an eerie case of fake a grin and bear it.
Let’s face the facts. Breaking up is rarely a pleasant experience. But waiting until after the holidays, a person’s birthday or V-Day to drop the bomb is not the answer! When the relationship is over, just say so! Get it over with and move on with your life. Enduring the tension of being with someone you’d rather not be with is not healthy for all parties involved. Unless of course, you’re a glutton for punishment. In the words of Gladys Knight and the Pips just bid them, “Farewell.”
Valentine’s Day Is Not That Serious!
In its original form, Valentine's Day was somewhat similar to Sadie Hawkins Day. It started off as a day for single females to find someone to pair up with. They would throw their names into a hat and once a young man drew their name, they’d spend the entire year together. Hopefully the pair would get married. Since then, this archaic brand of matchmaking has metamorphosed into a deftly serious multi-billion dollar day of immense pressure and unreasonable expectations.
C’mon people, it’s just not that serious! Sadie Hawkins Day was concocted by cartoonist Al Capp for his comic strip, “Lil Abner.” V-Day is based largely on chivalrous legends and amorous fairy-tales. Ladies, think about that before you read the Valentine’s Day Riot Act to your husband or boyfriend if things don’t go as you envisioned. Whether you’re married, engaged or just dating, for your sanity’s sake, relax, lighten up and enjoy the day… no matter what it brings!
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