What Every Good Black Man Must Know About Surviving The Gender War
This article is Part I of a series of articles on the gender war going on between some of our beloved Black men and women. Part II: What Every Good Black Woman Must Know About Surviving The Gender War.
Welcome To The Combat Zone
Surely you know that there is an intense gender war going on. This is a long running war that has pit Black women against Black men and Black men against Black women. This is a brutal war that has produced countless fatalities on both sides; a war that we the people could have and should have ended long ago, but distressingly, some brothas and sistahs revel in fueling this out of control raging fire.
The sistahs engaged in this harsh gender war talk tactics consistently. They recruit new combatants and spread their negativity campaigns against the brothas at clubs, churches, office water coolers, in Internet discussion groups, in their sorority meetings and women’s groups and of course at the beauty, hair and nail salons. With intense scrutiny they discuss such issues as why they believe all Black men are dogs, why no Black man can be trusted and most importantly; how to get even!
The average man is clueless about the malice simmering in the hearts of the angry sistahs who choose to participate in this war. Take Dernell Stinson of LaGrange, Georgia, for example. By all accounts, he was described as a mild mannered young man. After breaking up with a woman he dated for about a year, she sent Dernell this frightening text message on his cellular telephone: "U better pray I never see U again, I swear Dernell U R worth a murder 4 & that is all U R worth," A minute later, she followed up with yet another gruesome message: "If U ever wanna do something 4 me then please choke slow & painful & die!!!"
Those hate-filled words are indicative of a woman engrossed in this acrimonious gender war. Regrettably, Dernell came to that eerie realization after the fact. Men, brace yourselves because I’m about to drop some vital knowledge on you. Knowledge that will save you from the trauma of inadvertently finding yourself locked in the crosshairs of one of these emotionally embittered women. Here’s what you need to know!
In This War; All Black Men Are Seen As Enemy Combatants
The women engaged in this war adamantly assert that, “ALL BLACK MEN ARE DOGS!” Every last one of us! Remarkably, they swear to God that no good Black men exist. You could be the nicest man a woman could ever meet, but that’s a moot point. To these women, “You’re still a dog!” And as a dog, you are the enemy and as the enemy, you are branded as a lawful combatant who will be mistreated or fired upon.
The men who fall for women from this brigade find out the hard way, these women cannot be appeased. Nor will they relinquish the hatred raging in their hearts. Using their supernatural gifts of suspicion, condemnation and vengeance, they ruin every relationship and marriage they enter into. In spite of their overwhelming negative demeanor toward all Black men, they want good men to step to them, take a chance and prove them wrong.
For the men who roll the dice with one of these time bombs, they eventually learn what it means to walk a tightrope in breezy weather. In his article, “How Not To Date a Black Man” syndicatedcolumnist and author Darryl James responded to one of these sour sistahs by saying, “Too much work for what will more than likely be without reward.” She had solicited him to take a chance with her as long as he was willing to prove that her repugnant views about all Black men were not true.
Famed attorney, Johnny Cochran couldn’t win that case. Not even with hard evidence, eyewitnesses, video footage and expert testimony! If your path crosses one of these sistahs, heed Darryl’s advice. Entering into a relationship with one of these furious divas is a no win situation.
The Weapons of Their Warfare
The primary weapons of their warfare are just as lethal as guns and knives. Among other things, they utilize the (OCSE) Office of Child Support Enforcement and the divorce and family courts. Their silver bullets are false allegations of abuse, rape and domestic violence. Be warned: they believe in winning this war by any means necessary and if a man does something as innocent as saying “no,” these sistahs have no compunction about dialing 911 and falsely screaming, “A-B-U-S-E!”
Brethren, know this… these contentious women will ruin your life!
Carnell Smith, CEO of US Citizens Against Paternity Fraud, almost lost everything because one of these ticking time bombs was out to get revenge. Smith had broken up with her after deciding she wasn’t The One. In this gender war that is a NO-NO! You don’t break up with one of these sistahs and walk away unscathed! His ex-girlfriend fired back! She got pregnant by another man and then fraudulently alleged Smith was the father of her child. “Vengeance is ours,” screams the embroiled sistahs of the Black gender war!
Even after three DNA tests proved Smith was not the biological father of her child, this woman still went after him with a relentless vigor. [Did she become a paternity fraud predator, intent on making him pay for not wanting to stay?] Hmmm? You be the 13 th juror. At one point, Smith was ordered to pay her 42% of his take home pay, OR GO TO JAIL! Quietly, 1 out of 3 men who take a legal DNA paternity test, find themselves ensnared in the same booby trap as Smith. In all, he lost $150,000 trying to tear free from his ex’s retaliatory clutches.
Make no mistake about it; spurned by anger and vengeance, these militant sistahs have learned how to use the (OCSE) and the courts to destroy men’s lives. Their conduct is a disgraceful shame. I realize some people would rather I didn’t expose this dirty laundry, but I must.
Know this: this gender war is not a game! Especially when a vindictive sistah fraudulently puts a man’s freedom and life in jeopardy.
The Victims Mentality
No matter their conduct, these sistahs classify themselves as victims. They can get pregnant by a complete stranger whom they never intended on seeing again, but in their eyes, they see themselves as guiltless. Read the disturbing words of one of these cagey felines.
I feel like I have a RIGHT to show anger at men because the first man I gave myself to, hurt me… Since then, I have opened myself up to other men… same results. Yes, I am ANGRY at men! ALL men are dogs and I’m not going to change my opinion until a Black man proves me wrong!
This woman willingly gave herself to numerous men. She freely had sex with them, then turned around and called them dogs. Huh? Her actions were never brought into question because sistahs engaged in the gender war have convinced themselves that their actions and deeds fall under some type of sovereign diplomatic immunity.
Did you also notice she said she felt like she had a right to show anger at men? This is a common stance of sistahs who have enlisted themselves as combatants in this gender war.
The fact they use no discretion in their choice of men is MOOT and irrelevant. The fact they foolishly chose to be with men who are avowed pimps, players, dogs and thugs is again; MOOT and irrelevant! The fact that they freely and willingly have one-night stands, sex outside of marriage, engage in promiscuity and display conduct unbecoming of a virtuous woman is MOOT and irrelevant.
God forbid that you bring any of their shortcomings to their attention. Almost immediately you will be met with a barrage of hostile responses such as: “I resent that… I’m offended… How dare you… I have a right to express my sexuality… That’s an insult to a strong Black women and the hot one: who are you to judge me?”
To be blunt, these sistahs will not be held accountable. Not to their parents, family or friends. Not to God. Not to any man and not to any type of morals, standards or family values. In their minds, no matter what they do or say, they are always right! They believe they are incapable of making a mistake, committing sin or being wrong. Therefore, they cannot and will not be corrected!
Some of these sistahs are so brash, they gleefully attend church, deceiving themselves into believing God condones their hatred, unforgiveness and cunning vengeance. Staunch believers that all men are deserving of their malicious wrath, they will never render an apology or confession no matter how sinister their deeds or actions. With their hardened hearts and victim’s mentality, these sistahs empower themselves to do the wrong thing and feel justified about it.
All the men who made the fatal mistake of marrying a sistah soldier will testify that it was one of the worst decisions of their lives! I encourage you to learn from these men’s experiences and not have your own.
Who Fuels This Menacing War?
The primary accelerant of this gender war is the breakdown of the Black family. Dr. Maya Angelou aptly describes this breakdown in her riveting poem, “The Black Family Pledge.” If you’ve never read the pledge, I encourage you to do so. This breakdown of the Black family supplies a steady stream of brothas and sistahs into our society who have been indoctrinated to disdain, distrust, disrespect and hurt one another.
On the men’s side of this war, we have produced a mass number of brothas who are glaringly misogynistic. They display their misogyny by committing abuse and domestic violence. Gleefully disrespecting sistahs, intentionally playing games with their emotions and feelings.
Cursing Black women, referring to them as chickenheads, B’s, hoes and other profane names - while ingeniously classifying what they say and do as freedom of speech and artistic expression. They will impregnate a woman then abandon their own flesh and blood without regard.
These misogynistic brothas are flagrant and non-apologetic. They brag about being pimps, players and thugs, they commit date rape and jokingly boast about the women they have lied to, used, mistreated and hurt. They take great joy in producing misogynistic music and otherwise creating an environment that incites Black males to believe it is a badge of honor to disrespect African American women.
Any Thing a Man Can Do – We Can Do Better!
On the women’s side of this war, we have produced a multitude of sistahs who are eerily dangerous for a number of reasons. Some were brainwashed by their Hollywood heroines, romance novelists and music idols to view sex as a sport. Others were influenced into promiscuity by their reckless mothers. While joyfully expressing their sexuality, these loose sistahs unwittingly hurl themselves into the HIV/AIDS epidemic that is devouring their sister friends and decimating the Black family.
Some of them were raised in homes and situations in which they were abused, molested or otherwise frazzled. Their emotional, psychological and physical scars run deep. Oftentimes, when they grow up - they seek revenge for what was done to them when they were young.
If not vengeance, they go on bewildering paths of self-destruction, devaluing themselves by seeking love in all the wrong ways and places. How does a good brotha inoculate himself from the madness of this highly volatile gender war? The only way is by becoming a conscious objector.
Becoming a Conscious Objector
To be a conscious objector to the Black gender war means that you will consciously take these three vital steps:
(Step #1) Refrain from becoming a combatant. That means you refuse to dishonor, disrespect or disgrace any woman. It means that no matter their disposition - you never retaliate! You treat all women with the highest level of dignity, integrity and fidelity. That is how real men conduct themselves. If you are a man of prayer, pray for these women. Many of them are hurting. Pray for the healing of their hearts.
(Step #2) Learn to identify these feminine warriors and refrain from engaging in a relationship, marriage, debate or verbal jousting match with one of them. You will get nowhere except flaming their fire and inciting them to hostility. Know this: these scrappy sistahs love to fight men. Don’t become their next opponent, target or casualty of war.
You can suggest they seek God or obtain counseling, but unfortunately, most of these sistahs in arms are rarely willing to admit they have a problem. No matter how glaringly obvious it is. They are self designated combatants in this gender war and absolutely will not comply with any cease-fire. Not even if the order comes from Almighty G-O-D!
(Step #3) Seek a sistah who is also a conscious objector to the gender war and treat her like a lady! This last step means you must learn how to choose your mate wisely. Yes, there are women who are on the warpath, but thankfully, all sistahs are not engaged in this brutal war. The sistahs who are not - are some of the sweetest ladies on the planet earth and are well worth your search and patience!
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