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Will He Leave You Pregnant and Alone?

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Too many single women fall into the trap of being left pregnant and alone. Although their circumstances may differ… they may be engaged to be married, in a monogamous relationship, have a live-in lover or a casual sex partner, the end result is always the same.

Their baby's daddy abandons them after they announce that they are pregnant. Read one Christian woman's account of how her man went ballistic when she informed him that she was expecting their child. Could she have avoided the pain and rejection of being left pregnant and alone? The answer is, "Yes!" To find out how, keep reading...

by Anonymous Single Mother, Commentary by Gillis Triplett

Could This Happen To You?
It seemed like we were so in love. It felt like he was The One. Since he attended church, it never even crossed my mind to ask him was he "saved," (born again) until after we had been involved sexually.

He asked, "Saved from what?" I tried to clearly explain salvation, but he still did not understand. About 2 years into our relationship, he decided to get baptized. I later found out that he did it because he suspected that I might eventually leave him for a man who was born again. The day of his baptism, he reeked of liquor.

The odor was so loud, it was obvious that he had been drinking. I asked him, "How can you come into the Lord's house to be baptized smelling like whiskey?" He bluntly denied it. He acted as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

One of his many character flaws was his drinking. In hindsight, he was a functional alcoholic. Not long after that eerie episode, he asked me to marry him. I am a Christian woman. I should have known better, but I ignored all of the warning signs. I accepted his proposal and we set a wedding date. Could this happen to you? It can if you have formed a soul tie.

Bound By A Soul Tie…
After thinking about what I had done, days later I gave the ring back and moved out of state. It was my way of trying to break the "soul tie." I thought it would be easier by moving away. He seemed devastated with the news that I was leaving. He followed me with the intentions of bringing me back, but I later realized that his passion for me was fueled solely by his desire to have sex. Once again, I ignored the warning signs. We reconciled after he made a heart touching, emotional plea for me to stay with him.

One night at church, a pastor anointed and prayed over us to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. I am not sure if he received it or not. I don't even know if he was saved. The truth is, he was only attending church as a means to impress me so that he could have sex with me. And shamefully, I was with him because I just wanted A MAN! I had devalued my own worth as a woman and as a daughter of God.

I somehow believed that I could change him. I was wrong. If a man refuses to be a man, no woman has the power to change him. To compound the matter, our soul tie and flesh tie made breaking up extremely hard. The average person just doesn't walk away from a relationship after they have established such a powerful bond. He gave me the engagement ring back, we went and obtained a blood test and made plans to become husband and wife.

Thus Saith The Lord, "He Is Not The One!!!"
One night I got a revelation from the Lord… big as day! He said, "HE IS NOT THE ONE!" It hurt me to hear that because I was trying to have my way as opposed to following God's will for my life. In my heart I knew he was not The One, but I felt as if things were headed in the right direction. Especially since we were no longer sexually involved. When I told him I could not marry him because he was not The One, once again, he seemed devastated.

He Went From Dr. Jekyll To Mr. Hyde
Before I broke off the engagement for the second time, he convinced me that he was going to relocate to the state I had moved to. He was so serious, that he sent me a check for the down payment for his new apartment, but my mind was made up. Our relationship was over! That's when he switched gears and went from being gentle to being mean and malicious. In his anger, he lashed out at me on the telephone. He started saying things in an attempt to manipulate and control me. To have sex, some people will do and say anything. I finally had to hang up on him because the conversation got way out of hand. He called back and left a profane message on my answering machine. That should have been the end of our relationship, but unfortunately, it wasn't. You may be thinking, "Why didn't you just leave that jerk?" The answer is because of the soul tie.

The Soul Tie Was Never Broken…
I didn't hear from him again until some months later when I went home to visit my family. I knew it was wrong, but I allowed myself to fall back into sexual sin. I agreed to talk with him. We were just supposed to talk, that's it! One thing led to another and the next thing I knew, we were back in the midst of sexual heat. That's when I conceived our child. That moment in time never would have happened, had I broken that soul tie.

When I called to inform him that I was pregnant, he seemed excited. He even asked me if it was a girl, could we name her Diana. His second big question was, "What are you going to do now that you are pregnant?" He assumed that I was going to move back home and be with him.

I informed him that I was going to stay right where I was and raise my child. That was not what he wanted to hear. Like as before, he switched gears on me. He started ranting and raving, telling me the baby was not his, accusing me of sleeping around and demanding that I go and tell the real father. From that time until our child was born, it was a game of charades. One moment he would claim he was the father, the next moment, he would adamantly deny the child was his.

If You Don't Give It Up - Someone Will!
When our child was about a month old, we went home to visit him. I wanted him to see and get to know his child. While we were there, his mind seemed to be elsewhere. As the time drew near for me to get back on the road, I found out what he was really thinking about. He asked me, "When are we going to spend some time together?" I said, "We are spending time together… with our son!" He made it clear, he wanted to have sex with me! He never talked to me about raising our child or showed any concern for our child's well being. His only concern was having sex.

When I said, "No!" Once again, he blew his self-control fuse! He let me know that if I didn't give it up, someone would. I informed him that I was no longer having sex outside of marriage. I told him that I decided to be obedient to God's Word and I advised him to do the same. It was something I should have done when he made his first advance. I cannot begin to describe the look on his face after I said that. As I was leaving, he walked us to the car and was speechless the whole time. Without sex, he literally had nothing to say to me. The soul tie was broken for good.

The Paternity Test Makes It Official
He eventually demanded a DNA Paternity Test to determine if he was really the father. Even after receiving the test results confirming that he was, he refused to support his child. It has been almost four years and he has somehow managed to beat the system and evade paying child support. Although I have a college degree and work for a major corporation, it has been tough raising a child alone… a little boy at that. The hardest thing is - my child has yet to say, "I love you, daddy!" In the mean time, for the sake of my child, I must go on with my life.

I learned that is hard to end a relationship once you become sexually involved. Even when you start noticing danger signs, once you engage in sex, breaking up is hard to do. Some people will stay in a bad relationship just to satisfy their sexual cravings and others because they are trying to fulfill their need for companionship or financial support. In the end, you only end up hurting yourself, becoming depressed and wasting valuable time. All told, I squandered over three and a half years with my baby's daddy before we officially broke up. In that time, I probably could have met and married a godly man.

Commentary by Gillis Triplett
This young lady was one of the many unwed pregnant women who contacted our ministry seeking help. I have witnessed countless women struggle with this issue. For many, the emotional hailstorm they are forced to go through is absolutely nerve wracking. They experience everything from severe depression to suicidal tendencies. They earnestly struggle whether to keep their child, have an abortion or just give the child away. Some gave birth and then abandoned their child. Others tried to find a way to get the baby's daddy to love their child as much as they did. Unfortunately, the odds were not in their favor.

· The majority of boyfriends leave when their girlfriend has a baby…
Source: "Teen Sex and Pregnancy," Facts in Brief, AGI, 1999

· A comprehensive study performed by University of Georgia's demographer, Doug Bachtel - released in March of 2003, revealed that nearly two thirds of Georgia's Black children are born out of wedlock. Bachtel said that is the No. 1 problem facing the state of Georgia. The women didn't need a study to understand that truth. Read how some of them described what happened after they informed their boyfriends, lovers and fiancés that they were pregnant…

"He went to one appointment with me and left halfway through it… he never once felt my stomach… he later told me he wanted me to have an abortion. When I refused, he left me…"

"After I told him I was pregnant, he just left? He didn't say anything. He just turned around and walked away!"

"I'm trying my best to get over the shock and dismay of being abandoned. I know I should be eating for my baby, but this hurts more than words can say…"

"I don't understand how it happened, we always used a condom… when I became pregnant, he immediately changed his phone number. Prior to that time, he used to tell me that he loved me. He seemed so sincere… Afterwards, he acted like the baby and I didn't exist."

"No man will want to marry if I have this kid, abortion is my only way out. I don't want to ruin my chances of getting married…"

Will Your Boyfriend or Lover - Leave You Pregnant and Alone?
Are you in a monogamous relationship with a man with whom you are having sexual relations? Or, are you otherwise sexually involved? If you become pregnant, will your boyfriend or lover, leave you pregnant and alone? History, statistics and the alarming number of unwed mothers, reveal the answer to those questions is, "Most likely, yes!" You say, "Pastor Triplett, my man would never abandon me if I get pregnant, he loves me too much!" Dear heart, the chances of him sticking with you, marrying you or helping you raise your child, is extremely slim. I'm not trying to scare you. These are the irrefutable facts!

When a man has sexual relations with a woman that is not his wife, he is a dishonorable man. There's no two ways about it! You cannot expect a dishonorable man to do the honorable thing. As Founder and CEO of Mastering Manhood, it is a common thing for me to meet men in their thirties and forties who still have no clue about manhood.

To prove that point, these men have left numerous women pregnant and alone. I had a solicitor from one of the District Attorney's office sit down with me, to try and figure out what to do about this alarming issue. The solicitor explained how the courts are backlogged with cases in which the men have three, four and five children by different women. These men cannot afford to pay child support to all of their baby's mothers. That is like demanding them to be financially responsible for three or more households.

I examined cases in which men were $80,000 to $150,000 in arrears, in child support and their debt was mounting weekly! Yet, these men would leave their child support court proceedings and find another woman to be their girlfriend, fiancée, live-in lover or booty call. That is not the picture of an honorable man. That is a picture of a man who is meandering manhood. If you allow them, these dishonorable males will add your name to the list of women whose lives they have pilfered and ransacked.

Why People Choose the Wrong MateFor the women who have sex with, fall in love with and put their confidence in these unfaithful men, life becomes a tense emotional roller coaster. Where do you go from here? You have to make a decision to be a woman worthy of honor and respect. Until that day, you will always be a magnet for: dogs, players, liars, pew pimps, thugs, cheaters, fakes, men on the down low and other sexually indiscriminate males.

Related Articles
Is "Safe Sex" Really Safe?
The 8 Laws of Domestic Violence
Have You Kissed The Girls… And Made Them Cry?
The Sex Drive Why We Have It! (Part 1)
Is It The Will of God For Me To Marry or Remain Single?

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