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Do You Expect To Marry Your Live-in Boyfriend?

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In most cases when people move in together, at least one of them is working under the assumption that they might eventually get married.

After a comprehensive study, Dr. Wendy D. Manning discovered that marriage was not the goal for all cohabiting couples. More alarming is the mass number of women who now have a string of live-in lovers on their relationship resume.

by Alison McCook, commentary by Gillis Triplett

Reproduced under the Fair Use exception of 17 USC 107 for noncommercial, nonprofit or educational use.

Marriage Not The Goal For All Cohabiting Couples

Last Updated: 2002-11-21 10:00:31 -0400 (Reuters Health)

By Alison McCook

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Approximately one quarter of women living with a man say they don't ever plan on marrying him, according to new study findings.

This result suggests that for many people, living together is not a step on the road to marriage, study author Dr. Wendy D. Manning of Bowling Green State University in Ohio told Reuters Health.

More couples live together out of wedlock than ever before, and the reasons why some roommates prefer to stay unwed likely vary, she said. Some may believe that marriage would not alter their situation enough to make it worthwhile. Others may move in with a mate with no plans to marry him, Manning suggested, preferring the intimacy and companionship that comes from a roommate, and not from a date or husband.

Others may have previously imagined they and their boyfriends would marry, but reconsidered after sharing a residence, Manning added.

"They might learn from cohabitation that they really don't want to marry them," she said.

Manning and her co-author, Dr. Pamela J. Smock of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, determined the future wedding plans of 772 women who said they were living with their boyfriends by asking the question: "Do you expect to marry your current boyfriend?"

The findings are published in the November issue of the Journal of Family Issues.

Although many respondents said they believed they would never wed their partners, Manning explained in an interview that cohabiting does not appear to be replacing marriage, for just as many Americans are marrying now as before.

"So there are a lot of people who are cohabiting, they want to get married some time, but they don't know when, or with whom," she said.

Interestingly, she noted that one factor often linked to whether or not a woman said she expected to marry her partner was his income and education, with women partnered with men who have a lower income or educational background less likely to say they plan to marry. This relationship held true regardless of how much money the woman was making, Manning noted.

These findings do not suggest that money is always a woman's number one priority, Manning cautioned. Rather, she said that she suspects that these women believe that economic stability is a condition of marriage, and they don't want to marry--and perhaps have children--without feeling financially secure.

In terms of why more unwed people are living together than previously, Manning explained that the age at which people are getting married has shown a "steady rise" over the years. And extra time before matrimony gives people the opportunity to have relationships and live with people other than their future spouses, she noted.

SOURCE: Journal of Family Issues 2002 November.

Commentary by Gillis Triplett
When it comes to cohabitation, clearly, the losers are women. They allow themselves to be exploited by dishonorable men. These males gleefully test drive the wifely skills of these women, taste test their Eros love, toy with their feelings and hold their emotions hostage for six months to three years and then abandon them.

Why People Choose the Wrong Mate

Many of these women are left pregnant and alone, suffering from abortions, depression, emotional instability, infected with sexually transmitted diseases and left with the bills from their failed pre-marital experiment. Not to mention, some women just don't get it. Their relationship resume has a list of male live-in lovers. The fact is, if these males actually cared about these women, they would never put them through the grueling process of sampling their physical body, making false promises and then leaving them in the dust.

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Is It The Will of God For Me To Marry or Remain Single?



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