The 8 Laws of Domestic Violence
Every year, thousands of women and men are seriously hurt
or killed by their spouses, ex-spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends,
fiancées or fiancés.
Their injuries and deaths could have been prevented. With
proper training, abusive and violent people can be discerned
In this critically appraised training, I'll share with
you the eight laws of domestic violence, these laws were written
to help you avoid the trap of abuse and family violence.
Love Does Not Hurt, (See I Corinthians 13)
We live in a society in which people have created their
own brands of love. When they say they love you, intermingled
with their brand of love is: abuse, jealousy, vengeance, violence
If you let them explain it, these harmful character traits
are all part of being in love.
The Word of God makes it crystal clear
love does not
If a man or woman resorts to physical violence or uses emotional,
sexual or financial abuse to control or manipulate you, that
is not love because love does not hurt!
No One Has a Right To Hit, Hurt or Abuse You, (See Matthew
One common viewpoint from perpetrators of domestic violence
is that they have a right to hit, hurt or abuse the person
they claim to love. I have sat in countless domestic violence
courtrooms and listened to batterers make statements like;
"She made me hit her, if I didn't love him so much -
I wouldn't have stabbed him; every couple gets into fights;
she made me angry; sometimes love makes you lose control!"
I just followed a case in which the husband beat his wife
because he said she was snoring. Their teenage kids, who witnessed
the savage act, were so frightened that they called the police.
When the responding officer arrived, the wife beating husband
attempted to justify his actions. Because of his warped beliefs
about marriage, he couldn't see that he was wrong: morally
and legally. Whether you are dating, courting or married,
no one has a right to hit, hurt or abuse you.
You Have a Right To Dwell In a House of Refuge, (See Isaiah
Instead of being places of refuge, so many of today's homes
have become prison houses of abuse and domestic violence.
You need to know that you have a right to dwell in a peaceable
habitation, a sure dwelling and a quiet resting place.
That is God's standard for your household.
His standard supersedes the fluctuating and flimsy standards
set by mere mortal men. Some men and women have fashioned
themselves to stir up strife, arguments and fights.
If you allow one of these individuals to snare you into an
abusive relationship, they will surely turn your dreams of
having a happy home into a grueling nightmare, (See Proverbs
29:22 and Proverbs 21:19).
Every man and woman is accountable for his or her actions,
(See Galatians 5:17-26)
Just about everyday, men and women stand before a judge and
jury and admit that they stabbed, slapped, kicked, strangled,
shot, choked or punched their spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend,
fiancé or fiancée.
BUT! They also swear that they were not responsible for their
actions and therefore should not be held accountable.
They plead guilty by reason of insanity, sudden passion,
bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. Some
attorneys have devised an impressive list of probable defenses
to use in the event that they get the call to defend a wife
beater or male batterer.
You must understand - because of rebellion, immaturity, or
a lack of training, some men and women do not believe they
are accountable for their actions.
They will let their feelings and emotions run amuck, commit
acts of abuse and domestic violence, but refuse to be accountable
for their actions. That is why you must detect and avoid these
dangerous men and women at all costs!
There is No Excuse for Domestic Violence, (See Matthew 5:21-48)
I have heard more excuses from batterers than I care to repeat.
These men and women believe they have valid reasons for abusing
or pummeling their loved ones. They masterfully blame their
jobs, stress, layoffs and family pressures.
If not those, then they may blame depression, PMS, a breakup,
sudden passion, lover's jealousy or something else.
I must admit, their explanations for their evil behavior
are well thought out. I have watched certain judges presiding
over domestic violence cases sit back and agree, "Wow,
now that makes sense!"
It didn't make sense to me, and it surely didn't make sense
to the victim. There is no excuse for abuse or domestic violence.
We are all given the code of conduct to live by in the Written
Word of God.
Obviously many people choose not to live by God's code of
conduct. That's their choice, but you don't have to be in
a relationship with them!
I followed one case in which the husband killed his wife
and then committed suicide. He left a suicide note with instructions
on how to handle his financial affairs. The note also gave
a clue as to why he murdered his wife.
He claimed that he killed her because he didn't like the
way she spent their money.
You can try to analyze these people, perform brain scans
on them or put them through rigorous psychological evaluations,
but know this for a certainty.
Their problem is not psychological or mental.
Their problem is spiritual!
Domestic Violence is a Spiritual Curse, (See Genesis 3:14-21)
In most circles, domestic violence is defined as a social
problem. It is not! Domestic violence is a spiritual problem
that affects our homes, communities, governments and churches.
In Genesis 3, the Lord revealed eight curses that were a direct
result of Adam's sin. One of those curses revealed in verse
16, was the man's newfound desire to rule over women.
That word rule means: to exercise control over, to dominate,
to be the supreme authority over, to have the right of possession,
use, and control of.
That is not God's original design for mankind. That is a
byproduct of Adam's sin. Men who operate under this evil curse
believe a woman is their possession and that they have a right
to control her. Women who operate under this curse also believe
they have a right to manipulate and control men.
In one case, a woman killed herself and child after her boyfriend
broke up with her. As I investigated her background, I found
two previous boyfriends in whom she became physically violent
when they advised her that their relationship was over. Both
men had to file restraining orders against her.
This woman had the spirit of domestic violence. She proved
to her final boyfriend that she was in complete control by
killing the child she bore for him.
If you are a domestic violence activist, I applaud your efforts
to stem the tide of family violence. However, if you are dealing
with this issue solely from a social perspective, you are
only putting a bandage over a sore.
I am not suggesting that you shut down your shelters or hotlines,
or halt domestic violence legislation. Clearly, our society
desperately needs those resources.
I am saying that these violence prone men and women will
always exist in our society. In order to avoid becoming a
victim of abuse or domestic violence, a person must learn:
(a) the eight laws of domestic violence (b) how to detect
and avoid these abusive men and women, and (c) the traps and
tricks they use to lure victims into relationships and marriages.
If those steps are not taken, a person is unwittingly subjecting
himself or herself to become a victim of abuse or domestic
Christ Has Redeemed You From The Curse of Domestic Violence,
(See Galatians 3:13,29)
So often I have counseled people and sat in courtrooms and
listened as victims of abuse and domestic violence wondered
if this terrible crime was their lot in life.
I have had people try to convince me that it was God who
led them into an abusive marriage to teach them patience or
some other mysterious lesson.
God would never lead you into a harmful relationship or marriage,
(See Psalm 23 and Psalm 143:10). If you find yourself in a
terrible situation, you must face the facts, you got there
because you were either:
(a) Naïve, (See Proverbs 14:15)
(b) Foolish or immature, (See Proverbs 6:6)
(c) Impulsive, (See Judges 14:1-3)
(d) A silly woman, (See II Timothy 3:6)
(e) A simple-minded man, (See Proverbs 7:7)
(f) Or you got booby trapped by a skilled deceiver, (See II
God had nothing to do with you or anyone else being lured
or trapped in an abusive relationship or violent marriage.
Proof of that statement is in the final law of domestic violence.
That is why you must look in the mirror of life and be honest
Did you act on impulse and enter into the relationship or
marriage? Did you end up in the relationship or marriage because
you were a simple-minded man or a silly woman? Did you make
a foolish mistake in trusting this person? Did you ignore
or turn your head away from any of the warning signs?
If you cannot or will not admit your mistakes, sins or faults,
you will most likely repeat them.
God Commands You To Avoid Abusive and Violent Individuals,
(See Proverbs 22:24)
That is not a suggestion; that is a command! In I Corinthians
5:11, the Lord commands us not to keep company with a railer.
A railer is an abusive or violent person. He goes on to tell
us in that same verse, don't even eat with such a person.
Let me translate that for you.
That means you don't have breakfast, lunch or dinner with
them. You don't meet them for coffee at Starbucks or for Buffalo
wings at the Parker Lighthouse Restaurant in Long Beach, California.
You leave these people alone!
You don't date or court them and you surely don't marry them!
The experts would tell you to stick with them and work it
out. They may advise you to go to counseling with these male
batterers and wife beaters to help them get through their
anger management classes. NO! A thousand times NO!
Read the command in Proverbs 22:24 again, "MAKE NO FRIENDS
WITH AN ANGRY MAN OR WOMAN!
If you think you can make void the Word of God with the opinion
of a board certified clinical psychologist, be my guest.
But understand this
The morgue, graveyards, hospitals and shelters for the abused
are filled with people who tried to tame these abusive time
bombs with love, logic, therapy, psychology and anger management.
In Proverbs 25:24, God emphatically warns all men: "It
is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with
a brawling woman and in a wide house." I have met
men who decided to believe the advice of their family and
friends over God's Word. They married these contentious women
and found themselves trapped in a marriage from HELL!
A husband and wife once came to me for emergency counseling.
In actuality, she just tagged along for the ride. She really
didn't want to be bothered.
The wife had assaulted the husband on a couple of occasions
and had boastfully told him that she could kill him in his
sleep. I have no doubt that she would have murdered him had
he stayed in the house with her.
He could have avoided that trauma. He confessed that before
he married her, the signs that she had the spirit of domestic
violence were evident but he chose to ignore them.
His decision nearly cost him his life.
Domestic violence is a gravely serious problem in our society
and it has crept into our churches like an out of control
Don't allow yourself to be snared or booby trapped by one
of these violent men or abusive women.
Take to heart the eight laws of domestic violence and visit
our website: www.Gillistriplett.com,
for other dynamic love, sex, relationships and marriage training
We're here to help you find True Love and avoid the pitfalls
and booby traps most people make when it comes to love.
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