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Joining us today is Gillis Triplett, CEO of Mastering Manhood, Director of The Naked Truth Seminars and author of the book, “Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding The 9 Deadly Booby Traps.” Gillis has helped thousands of men and women make the proper choices when it comes to love, sex, relationships and marriage. He has been instrumental in healing the breach between Black men and women and he’s here to talk with us about how to find True Love and how to tell if you are at risk of ending up a horrible marriage or harmful relationship.
Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding The 9 Deadly Booby Traps
The Naked Truth Seminars – Coming soon!
Interview Questions For Why People Choose The Wrong Mate and The Naked Truth Seminars
Why are so many marriages failing within the Black family, especially within the Church?
The answer to that question is simple: It starts with a lack of training. The average man and woman, including those in the church who are saved, have had - improper, little or no training at all when it comes to love, sex, relationships and marriage.
Why is training in the area of love, sex, relationships and marriage so important?
In life when a person wants to become a lawyer, a pilot, a plumber, a hair stylist or a truck driver, we demand that they be trained. However, in the most critical areas of our lives, the areas of love, sex, relationships and marriage, most men and women have little or no training at all. Because of that lack of training, their expectations are skewed. Men and women regularly enter into relationships and marriages, and yet they have no idea what True Love is, what the marriage covenant is and they know nothing about the numerous pitfalls and booby traps. How can a person expect to find and experience True Love when they are clearly operating from a lack of knowledge?
Tell us about the Naked Truth Seminars and why this training is so critical to the Black family.
We have some alarming issues within the Black family that we must openly address. Prevalent issues such as domestic violence, abortion, men effortlessly abandoning children they fathered, paternity fraud, male bashing by angry Black women, the subtle subversion of manhood which has led us to have a mass number misogynistic Black men, the distrust amongst the Black men towards Black women and vice-a versa, and of course the big one ---safe sex miseducation. If we remain silent about these issues, the Black family could face near extinction. Only to be replaced with a glut of single moms, broken homes and fatherless children. The Naked Truth Seminars is a training ground for men and women to learn the naked truth about love, sex and relationships and deal with these critical issues openly, honestly and productively. By doing so, we are able to bring healing to the masses.
How does your book, “Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding the 9 Deadly Booby Traps,” fit into the Naked Truth Seminars?
When it comes to love, sex, relationships and marriage, there are a numerous pitfalls and booby traps. Because of a lack of training, the majority of men and women find out about these pitfalls and booby traps, but only after they have been snared in them. In Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding the 9 Deadly Booby Traps, I expose the pitfalls and booby traps and I show men and women how to detect when they are headed into a relationship or marital danger area.
Give us an example of a booby trap that we need to be aware of.
The first booby trap that I deal with is the mass number of men and women who enter into relationships and marriages wearing masks and disguises. Let me give your listeners two real life examples that happen everyday. I recently counseled a man who met and married a woman from his church. Their marriage lasted all of 3 months before she filed for divorce. Because they lived in a no-fault divorce state, the divorce court judge ordered this man to move out of his house and awarded the property to his now ex-wife. While he stood there like a dear in headlights, he learned that his ex-wife had a long time boyfriend she had never severed ties with. She was seeing this boyfriend when she accepted this man’s marriage proposal. The boyfriend moved into the house right after her distraught husband was forced by the court to pack his bags and leave. Clearly she was wearing a mask when she met and married this brother, but he had no training to help him detect and discern her impending marital defraud. Aside from losing his house, he was also ordered to pay his own attorney’s fees, plus hers, which cost him roughly about $20,000. Had he read, Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding the 9 Deadly Booby Traps, he would have avoided that marital nightmare.
In the next incident, the couple met a large church here in Atlanta, Georgia. They hit it off, started dating and about six to seven months later they were engaged to be married. From all appearances, they looked like to peas in a pod. About two years after they met and fell in love, they walked down the aisle. On their wedding night, which should have been one of the happiest days of their lives, this woman became a victim of domestic violence… at the hands of her husband. When they returned home from their wedding, this purported Christian brother pulled out a bottle of alcohol and lit up a joint to celebrate his marital union. He patiently courted her while all the time he was wearing disguises. When his wife saw the drink and the smoke, she told her newly christened husband that their house was a house of God and they would not have any of that mess up in here. He responded by physically attacking her! During the brutal attack she somehow made it to a phone and was able to dial 911. When the police arrived they found her husband straddling her, attempting to choke the life out of her. Most people hear about these types of incidents everyday, but for some reason they have a hard time admitting that they happen. However, when you look at the sobering statistics - the divorce rate in the Black family hovers around 60 to 70% and domestic violence takes place every 9 to 15 seconds, you cannot ignore reality. For a person to say it isn’t so and glibly enter into a relationship or marriage tells me that they are not at all serious about having a love that lasts.
How do you train a person to detect if a person is wearing a mask?
When a jeweler wants to determine if what he is looking at is real gold or fake gold, he puts the item through an acid test. That acid test clearly identifies if is real gold or not. The Book is entitled: Why People Choose The Wrong Mate and the subtitle is, Avoiding the 9 Deadly Booby Traps. With each booby trap I provide booby trap acid tests to help determine if a person is entering into a harmful relationship or a horrible marriage. Like the acid test used by the jeweler, these booby trap acid tests take only a few seconds to perform.
Give us an example of why booby trap acid tests are so vital.
On April 30th of 2004, I did a workshop for 200, 16-year-old, high school boys. About 35% of them were having sexual relations with one or more girls. When I asked them what would they do if they got their girlfriend pregnant, without hesitation, the majority of those boys said they would force her to have an abortion. They had not even graduated from high school and already they had lost capacity for normal emotions. When a man is willing to force, coerce, or manipulate a woman into having an abortion, make no mistake about it, he has lost capacity to have normal emotions. As Director of the Naked Truth Seminars, I consistently meet Black women who have had 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 abortions. Some were forced, while others use abortion as their birth control. Sadly, these women have lost their capacity to have normal emotions. They have no compunction about getting pregnant and then terminating the life of their child. For a portion of these women, when they marry, to the shock of their husbands, their modus operandi had not changed. I have lost count of the number of anguished men whose wives terminated their child against their wishes. So the question is, “Has my potential mate lost his or her capacity to normal emotions?” You need to know how to make that determination and I’ll show you how!
With all of the negatives, is it possible that a person can find and experience True Love? Especially in today’s environment of loose sexual morals, misogynistic men and angry females?
The answer is “Yes!” They can find and experience True Love as long as they understand the numerous love, sex and relationship booby traps and pre-marital pitfalls.
What are the five most important steps a person should take in order to find and experience True Love?
1. Be Trained To Reign! Pull yourself off the market until you have received proper training in the area of love, sex, relationships and marriage. There are too many pitfalls and booby traps such as domestic violence, dating abuse, paternity fraud, sexually transmitted disease and people who will play with your heart… for you to roll the dice and hope for the best. Don’t assume that just because you go to church that you don’t need to be trained and that everything will work itself out. That improper mindset is another primary reason divorce is so prevalent in the church.
2. Become a (SOW), a Single One Whole – If you have issues, get them resolved! I had a young man who was sexually active in the past but had gotten born-again. He desired to get married but I brought up something about his past they kept bothering him. He had never been tested for any STD’s. Although he had no symptoms to speak of, I teach people who have been sexual activity in the past to obtain a battery of tests for sexually transmitted diseases. You could be carrying around the HIV/AIDS virus, herpes or Chlamydia and not know it. Turns out this young man was infected with a treatable STD but he didn’t know it because he was asymptomatic. Had he married without addressing that issue, he would have infected his wife and possibly caused her to have a miscarriage or a string of miscarriages. I see that tragedy happen to married couples all the time.
3. Be a person of prayer. In the last chapter of, “Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding the 9 Deadly Booby Traps,” I deal with how God warns us and leads us. By being a person of prayer, you are able to discern when God is warning you that this person is not The One, versus when He is leading and guiding you and giving you His stamp of approval to say, “This person is The One.”
4. Don’t go it alone! Successful relationships and marriages are not established on deserted islands. Surround yourself with people of prayer and faith. Men and women of wisdom who understand the numerous love, sex and relationship booby traps and pre-marital pitfalls. By having this caliber of individuals as part of your Dream Team/SWAT team, you avail yourself to crucially needed wise counsel. Be weary of men and women who attempt to cut you off from communicating with your family and friends. That is a common tactic employed by perpetrators of domestic violence and people who intend on committing marital fraud. Make sure that your potential mate is exposed to your family and friends and listen intently to their assessments.
5. Keep the faith! True Love will find you! You have to believe that in your heart and confess it with your mouth. Don’t be discouraged, depressed or dejected. Keep the faith, True Love will find you!
How can they order, Why People Choose The Wrong Mate: Avoiding The 9 Deadly Booby Traps?
They can log on to my website at: www.Gillistriplett.com. We are also available on Amazon.com, BN.com, and we are carried by Barnes and Noble, Chapter 11 Books, Borders and most Christian bookstores.
How can our listeners contact you to find out about the Naked Truth Seminars?
They can log on to my website at: www.Gillistriplett.com, or they can call us toll free at 888-651-0547
Other Potent Topics of Discussion
1. What sistahs need to know about men on the down low
2. The mis-education of “Safe Sex”
3. Why True Love will find you!!!
Gillis Triplett’s Bio
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